How Kerry Washington Is Empowering Women To Fight Financial Abuse
Growing up my mother (a financial planner) instilled in me the importance, especially as a woman, of financial independence; she wanted me to be able to support myself no matter what life brought. This is partly why I became a financial planner. I wanted to empower women to be financially independent, and to ensure they had the tools to take care of themselves should the worst happen: divorce or their husband’s death. It wasn’t until I attended the 2017 Forbes Women Summit, where actress, producer and activist Kerry Washington spoke about her passion for empowering women, that I learned there was another, even more critical reason that women need to be financially independent. That reason is financial abuse.
We know all too well the devastating stories of domestic abuse. What we don’t hear about is the widespread financial abuse that almost always accompanies the violence. Financial abuse is behavior that prevents victims from acquiring, using or maintaining financial resources. According to Washington, financial abuse is the top reason someone stays in an abusive relationship, and the number one reason someone may go back to an abusive partner. Research indicates that financial abuse is experienced in 99% of abusive relationships. Financial abuse at it’s core leaves the victim completely dependent on their partner.
Which is why Washington lent her voice and passion as the Ambassador for Allstate Foundation Purple Purse, a public awareness and fundraising program aimed at creating safety and security for domestic violence survivors through financial empowerment. For three years, she partnered with world famous designers to create new limited edition Purple Purses. “Purple is the color for domestic violence awareness, and a purse is a symbol for where a woman keeps her financial domain,” Washington explains. “I felt like designing this purse to give us an easy way to talk about a difficult issue, I could have a real tangible impact on changing women’s lives.”
Washington certainly had an impact on me; I was inspired to better understand how we can help victims and prevent future abuse, especially as a mother of a young girl. According to Vicky Dinges, Allstate’s senior vice president of corporate responsibility, the most important thing a woman can do to prevent financial abuse in their life is to educate themselves about domestic violence and financial abuse so they recognize the warning signs. “It’s also important, particularly in relationships, that both partners are comfortable with money and familiar with household finances and financial documents,” Dinges adds.
Signs of Financial Abuse: It may start subtly: “I don’t want you to have to worry about finances” or “I’m better with finances so I’ll handle all the money”. The victim will continue to become more dependent on their spouse until one day they realize they are trapped; they have no money, credit or understanding of their finances.
- Not allowing access to money, bank accounts or credit.
- Controlling your spending, asking for receipts or giving you an allowance.
- Belittling you about about your knowledge of finances, ability to earn or financial contributions.
- Hiding assets.
- Using your money or credit without your permission.
- Forcing your career choices. He may make you stay at home or work for his family business; he may use guilt to control how much (or if) you work, such as “If you loved our family, you would stay home with us”.
- Threatening to leave or deny you financial support.
- Not working or paying bills, yet still controlling the finances.
- Attempts to sabotage your credit.
- Spending money on himself but not letting you do the same.
What to do if you are a victim of financial abuse: Dinges warns, “It’s often said the most dangerous time for a woman is when she has made the decision to leave an abusive relationship. A woman’s foremost priority should be her safety”. Only you know what he is capable of, so don’t do anything that will put you in harms way.
- Reach out to friends, family, support groups and church for help.
- Open a credit card in your name to start establishing credit. It may be a high interest rate in the beginning; that’s ok, you can rebuild your credit. Just make sure you use it regularly and pay it on time. Nerdwallet provides a list of credit cards for those with bad credit.
- Open a bank account in your name.
- Stash money. Every penny counts. Take part of your wages, your grocery money or allowance and start putting away every cent you can, so you have money to get started once you leave. If you can’t open a bank account, get creative. Washington told the story of one survivor who rolled up her cash and hid it in a tampon applicator; the only place her husband would not look.
- Have a plan. Where will you stay? How much money do you need?
- Leave him. If he’s not already, there is a good chance the financial abuse will lead to physical abuse.
What we can do to put an end to financial abuse: The most powerful tool we have to fight and prevent financial abuse is our voice. If you are one of the millions of women who has been in an abusive relationship, do not be ashamed. Be proud that you had the strength to survive; use your voice and your story to inspire and save others. Washington referred to financial abuse as the invisible weapon. As she sat in front of a room of Forbes power women, she urged them to take action. “We have a responsibility to stand strong, to tell our stories, to encourage others, to participate – to shine a light” .
Resources for Abuse Victims:
- The Allstate Foundation’s Moving Ahead Through Financial Management provides information on financial abuse and tools to better understand your own finances.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
- Through the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Hope and Power helps battered women regain control of their financial lives and begin to build a better future.
- domesticshelters.org provides local shelters, hotlines and advice for victims.
- The IRS has a free publication containing tax information for survivors of domestic abuse.
- WomensLaw.org provides free legal advice on financial abuse.
Kerry Washington at 2017 Forbes Women Summit